ten years and you aren't here

imminently crashed literally and figuratively  
dusted off took a few steps looked back to see
the aftermath lost myself lost a friend  
dove deeper into darkness glorious descend
 
further rejected faith welcomed anything fiendish
ready to enjoy the pain and agony as a dish
dated a self-cutter that enjoyed cutting me too
shit got way crazy so I packed up and flew
 
she got better or at least she made me believe
dated on and off for years and now I grieve
she decided she was tired and let go
it was her birthday and today has lost its glow