Eviscerating  Mental Illness

" A dark uncoiling of something too awful to describe starts in my lower abdomen. "    K. L. Slater
 
Eviscerating  what is inside
Humiliating with disrespect at its core
Numbness holding me down  
Physical pain only a brief distraction
 
Dispondent and discarded  
Fear of abandonment transforming into a  
Cannibalistic monster intent on self destruction
 
Instability in a prayer of individual violence
Targeting the mind  
A perfect fit for invisible hostilities
Camouflaged into delusions
 
Disturbed justice a threat  
Sheilded with heinous mindsets  
Beginning death at the core  
Psychosomatic reactions to daily terror
 
Sanity rocking into existence and out of existence
Eviscerating  the horror trapped inside  
Heart breaking on repeat
Numbness a tragic reality  
 
Fighting to connect  
Slowly... Too slowly releasing self isolation  
Loving myself enough to attempt such a life