How do I fix this?

You did it before
Will you do it again?
This doubt inside me,
It never ends.  
 
So many questions
My mind keeps going.
Can I just be happy,
And embrace your loving?  
 
The stories, the lies,
They cut deep.
Can I get past this?
Past the grudges I keep?  
 
You've grown so much,
This I do know.
If you can do it,
Why am I stuck in this hole?
 
This hole in my reality,
It will end it all.
I need help,
But who do I call?  
 
I trusted you,
I gave you everything.  
I don't understand,
And I'm stuck here wondering.  
 
Filled with problems and pain,
How do I fix this?
I know I'm a mess,
But I can admit this.  
 
Hopefully, one day soon,
And not too late,
I can move on from this,
And move on from that date.
 
It's been a year,
And it still invades my mind.
Was I not good enough?
Did you have to cross that line?  
 
I never wanted anything
More than you then,
Now what I want,
Is to trust you again.  
 
A future with you
It's so very worth it.
To let go of these demons,
And all of this bullshit.  
 
Just know that I love you
And I'll never stop trying.
I really do need you.  
Please don't think that I'm lying.