deepundergroundpoetry.com

The silver lining

Clouded thoughts clearing as my mind begins to open , realising I often speak with no filter to determine someones reaction as the twisted words that leave my mouth leave cringes on the faces of those who have given me a chance of interaction

I'm starting to question my motivation
A quest for attention has lead me to this life of solitude , of course people can't take a joke when the humour isn't funny , people have backgrounds and pasts and all these years I've acted like it's a joke !

Just because I don't take anything to heart , just because I have been de-cencitised to humour at my expense doesn't mean others are . Some subjects come with a moral warning , I decided to ignore it , now people decide to ignore me .

I know in the past I have been insensitive , I have been aweful , I have done things that I should never have done , ignorance isn't an excuse but ignorance is all I had. Now .... I have nothing. .  I'm sorry to the people I have hurt , I'm so sorry to the ex's who gave me their patience as in return I disrespected that , I'm sorry for any manipulative behaviour I didn't realise at the time , now I think back I deserve to die .

I admit my faults ! I'm not going to pass the blame
Everyone at a stage in life knows what's wrong and what's right !
I'm not asking forgiveness , I'm not asking for you , I'm writing this for myself , to make sure I understand ! To make sure I don't do it again.  I'm not looking for a fresh start , this loneliness is the reaction of my actions , I'll take what ever Karma throws at me ! I deserve it !

So Karma , do it ... Keep throwing shit my way , keep torturing me ! I know I brought it on myself ! But when your done , do me a favour , take me out of my misery , take me away from every one !

-U53L355
Written by u53l355
Published
Author's Note
I kept kicking myself and feeling like everyone I ever knew has done me wrong because they no longer have time for me , thinking back I don't blame them . The reality is depressing and I am finally admitting fault.

To the woman who introduced me to this site, I know you got busy and FlewAway but thankyou and if you read this I miss you , I really do
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