A Strange Tale, And An Even Stranger Tail (although curiously, there are no tales of tails?)

A Strange Tale, And An Even Stranger Tail
(although curiously, there are no tales of tails?)
in a land
far far far away
lived a little tiny, incey wincey
hoojamawatchamacallitthingamybob
that spent all day
prancing
to scared of heights
to climb trees
and burrowing down holes
gave him the heebeejeebees
and when out walking in rough grass
worried about tripping over clods and such like
he couldn't swim, or paddle
so was scared of the sea
even though he lived inland
he refused to fly
even though he had wings
as was terrified of heights for this as well
but despite this
he was proclaimed leader
no votes were cast, or necessary
he became prime minister, and king
he passed no laws
he held no council
and no-one ever opposed him
largely because
he was the only inhabitant of this distant isle
he eventually died
as he ran out of grass to graze
and on that sad day
the hoojamawatchamacallitthingamybob species
expired, became extinct, and was no more
i know about him, as i was told by his ageing parrot
betwixt utterings of "pieces of eight!"
 and "who's a pretty polly then?"
and "fuck off!"
i left the old bird to it
and sailed the seven seas
so i could now recount this tale
i am thankfully receiving counselling for this episode in my life
as i kept awakening in the night screaming
"who's a pretty polly then!"
and jumping off my perch!
by Jemia (who has undoubtedly fallen off her perch!) 😏🦄🦋🙃