Pelotok

Selfie stick, hi! My name is Jennifer.
We can be best friends like FOREVER.
I could mount you on my mom's
exercise bike. And we can have zoom
parties and binge-watch the weather
with our smart watches altogether,
or whatever. I'm soo clever! LIKE!

(Eat that Peloton!) Ugh, Spring Break
#hashtag AtHomeAloneAgainInBed
because of Covid, remember? Now,
watch me take this silicone dick...
Tiktok, tiktok, tiktok, tik-. That one
goes out to you, #hashtag TREVOR.
Guess what!! My parents...

went on a trip like last September and
got sick because they had one of those
Oregon dinners (or "DNRs" WHATEVER!)
Thanks autocorrection, and most recent
subscriber... cyber bullying is a crime,
and that's a misuse of the comment
section.

ANYWAY, I'm fine. And guess who got to
"pull the lever?!" Now, may I re-present
to you, Jennifer, The Emancipated Minor!
Special winkie thanks to my parents'
lawyer (#hashtag trevor). So long, as I
"promise never to talk about that one
time..." seriously, like EVER.

Hi, my name is- really?! Do you seriously
have to read everything on the sticker?
Ugh, nevermind, just call me Jennifer.
Last names are so last summer.
#hashtag PartyBummer. LIKE.