Romance or Wishful Thinking?
Blurring the division between designing a future
and saving things when you’d sooner allow it to sink
Our union required us two to help it survive,
but it only took your misplaced doubt to let it die
You failed to form the words that could mend what we’d built
Now I know I’m not perfect but I poured my heart out
just for you to see me wilt
I chose to stand idly by while you stood on the fence line
trying to decide whose lawn you find more vibrant
Hers, hers, his or mine?
Suppose I must come to terms, handling my hurt in silence
Justifying how you seem to overlook me so easily,
I wonder why, in comparison to all those come-and-go pleasures,
I fell so short and failed to be who you desired
How could you forfeit any blame?
Bleeding out inside, as I watched a stranger’s hand interlocking yours
Believing one day you might come back eventually hollowed my core
I held you through your lowest but you stole the best of me
Engulfed by a feeling worse than worthlessness
I combed through our memories hoping to exorcise delusions in which
I sought to give you a wonderful life
Is this how my fairy tale is written to be or am I caught in a pipe dream?
Nothing came worse than realizing I’d lay next to a man with whom I’d shown my soul
yet found myself alone in his presence
Now when I look back on our history
I only feel more broken when I think about the way you loved me