Good Enough

 
Almost every day the question comes to mind
Was I ever good enough to him?
Dealing with the struggle of a shared custody
As the years passed by, the situation got grim

Little by little I gave up more of my time
It seemed like the thing to do rationally
She’d be a better parent than I could be
All the while I had started another family

I could always see the hurt in his eyes
Even as he smiled and laughed happily
But as he got older I got all the blame
As the shame weighed so substantially

And for many years I carried that guilt
Until I said to myself: No, not anymore
I know that I’ve tried and keep on trying
To be better a father than I was before

He may be a hundred miles away
But I think of him everyday
This relationship seems to get harder as he matures
Parenthood is never that simple
Even when I acted on impulse
I may be insecure but my love as a father endures

And whenever that question comes to mind
I remind myself of his affection and leave the guilt behind