medication my ads

My medications are like my kryptonite
When im on them i feel like i need them
The light when i wake up feels so bright
I feel numb

I want to feel numb
I don't want to feel any pain at all
And deal with whatever chaos that will come
Let's see how far i can go till i hit a wall

These are my experiences not everyone gets like this
Medications can help but its not for me
Its really a hit or miss
This is what no one sees

I hold on to my depression but also want to let it go
At times i hate to sleep alone
This is what no one knows
So i locked my self inside

I just want to hide
At the same time i dont want to die
This has been a bumpy ride
In my darkness is where i feel safe inside

I can be crying for hours
Then afterwards i laugh and forget about it
Does this make me a coward
I will continue to fight it