deepundergroundpoetry.com
I am a liar
I can’t take this, can’t take this anymore
I can’t hold in the fire, I can’t wait for the dawn
I can’t stop this desire that burns within my heart
I have to succumb to the aching that’s tearing me apart
I have fallen into the well
I am burning in the flames
I am tired of this world
I am tired of these games
I am tired of the wanting and the waiting and the pain
Of the pushing and the needing and the hunger for the rain
But I can’t stop, though I can’t take this, I can’t take this anymore
Because I have to sate the hunger and I have to close the door
And as I bite into the apple, juices dripping down my face
This is one choice I made that time cannot erase
And as the aching is replaced with a distorted smile
It felt safe to be here, for a while, for a while
But already I knew, the core of the apple was dead
Oh so rotten, poisoned and cursed in this bed
I awaken, cannot remember where I am or how I got here
But I know that you quenched the aching, for a while it was clear
You reached deep inside me and took what wasn’t yours
And I let you take it, because I always want more
Because you pushed so hard that I thought I would die
And I wanted you to kill me and every sordid lie
That I told and committed and this felt oh so right
You took me into the fire, you took me into the night
I didn’t want you to stop because I needed the pain
I begged and begged you to keep driving in the nails
I screamed because release was a welcome friend
If only temporary and time will never mend
These wounds, these scars, these fractures in my spirit
I wouldn’t have taken more, if by now I knew my limits
But with the moment over I whispered into the rain
Let us come here tomorrow and let us do this again
Thrice over and regret seeping from every pore
Once again, I can’t take this, I can’t take this anymore
The aching in my heart has torn apart this fragile dawn
Yet still in this state, I want more, I want more
As I give, and you take and you take what isn’t yours
Please don’t stop, but I can’t take this, I can’t take this anymore
I can’t hold in the fire, I can’t wait for the dawn
I can’t stop this desire that burns within my heart
I have to succumb to the aching that’s tearing me apart
I have fallen into the well
I am burning in the flames
I am tired of this world
I am tired of these games
I am tired of the wanting and the waiting and the pain
Of the pushing and the needing and the hunger for the rain
But I can’t stop, though I can’t take this, I can’t take this anymore
Because I have to sate the hunger and I have to close the door
And as I bite into the apple, juices dripping down my face
This is one choice I made that time cannot erase
And as the aching is replaced with a distorted smile
It felt safe to be here, for a while, for a while
But already I knew, the core of the apple was dead
Oh so rotten, poisoned and cursed in this bed
I awaken, cannot remember where I am or how I got here
But I know that you quenched the aching, for a while it was clear
You reached deep inside me and took what wasn’t yours
And I let you take it, because I always want more
Because you pushed so hard that I thought I would die
And I wanted you to kill me and every sordid lie
That I told and committed and this felt oh so right
You took me into the fire, you took me into the night
I didn’t want you to stop because I needed the pain
I begged and begged you to keep driving in the nails
I screamed because release was a welcome friend
If only temporary and time will never mend
These wounds, these scars, these fractures in my spirit
I wouldn’t have taken more, if by now I knew my limits
But with the moment over I whispered into the rain
Let us come here tomorrow and let us do this again
Thrice over and regret seeping from every pore
Once again, I can’t take this, I can’t take this anymore
The aching in my heart has torn apart this fragile dawn
Yet still in this state, I want more, I want more
As I give, and you take and you take what isn’t yours
Please don’t stop, but I can’t take this, I can’t take this anymore
Published 13th Feb 2012
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13th Feb 2012 10:01am
Anyone who claims to be good at lying is obviously bad at lying. Thus - as a writer myself - I cannot comment on whether or not writers are exceptionally good liars, because whatever I said would actually mean its complete opposite. Great write, it sounds like a bad trip at Wal-Mart. That's what I go thru. Kudos my friend
13th Feb 2012 10:36am
I don't claim to be good at lying, merely that I am a liar, although perhaps good at lying to myself. It could be related to a bad trip at Wal-Mart :-))
13th Feb 2012 10:40am
Is a lie a lie when the truth is evaded? Or is it the hell found out too late. We lie to ourselves everyday saying it's going to be a good day knowing it's not. Kudos on the Wal-Mart. I hate them basturds
13th Feb 2012 11:05am
I think a lie is when you do or say the opposite of what you feel or know to be the truth. If it's a minor lie you might not even notice anything, like saying 'your hair looks nice today,' to spare someone's feelings, but if it's something that has broader implications your conscience just won't shut up. We do lie to ourselves and even others on a daily basis, to make life more bearable, but I don't think our consciousness copes very well with it because whatever we say, it knows the truth. Or, sometimes we convince ourselves that we enjoy the lie because it seems dangerous and makes life seem less grim!
13th Feb 2012 11:17am
A good lier needs a good memory to keep track of what they say...what were we talking about? Lol. It's funny how we stretch it; the truth that is as you stated. " your hair looks nice". politeness and complements and good greetings come at our expense sometimes. We do goofy ass things to make people laugh. I know if someone is having a bad day. I will make mine seems worse so they don't feel that bad. Letting them know some people are worse off. Once again it comes at my expense. I guess you can call it justifiable deviation of a righthand turn. Metaphorically speaking of course. Seems like you are a very witty person. Don't loose that.
13th Feb 2012 11:47am
Maybe more sarcastic, allegedly the lowest form of wit! :-) You do goofy ass things to make people laugh and feel better, but not everyone can be bothered to make others feel better, so you should be proud of this ability. You are obviously sensitive to the feelings of others, which is a good trait and helpful for them, but can be difficult when others don't reciprocate the same sense of compassion towards you. The plight of the sensitive!
