I know I have lost

The markings of a familiar face left embedded in my brain
It's been years since I had seen her red eyes and tears of pain
She left me with permanent scaring in not only my flesh but scratchings etched inside me as I opened up to her and came out of hiding . I thought I had escaped this abuse but the flash memories will never go away .
It's like a photo taken with a timer but the smile was much wider as you waited for what seems like an eternal 10seconds , the photo that's taken must be mistaken as my smile is replaced with a frown .

I didn't care about the money I spent it's trust that i'd lent and the times I blamed myself .

Fuck this , I'll never trust again. I'll admit that I lost and You win.