Follow your Dreams chapter 3 part2
Follow your Dreams chapter 3 part2
That night, Lucia surrendered to me. I made love to her at my speed, the way I desired and she simply enjoyed it. I was slow and methodical, memorizing every square inch of her by touch. Her smells, her sounds, her passion and that lovely smile were mine. I fully lost myself that night. She and I became as one.
Surprisingly, I woke before Lucia the next morning. I watched her sleep with her thick hair bunched up in all directions. It was incredibly peaceful watching her chest slowly rise and fall with every breath. I was guilty of allowing her to watch me die. It was so incredibly selfish. She was the love of my short, remaining life.
I sneaked slowly out of bed, trying to let her sleep. I dressed quietly and headed to the kitchen. I grabbed the coffee carafe and filled it with water from the bathroom. I really had to get cabinets and a sink in the kitchen. I smiled to myself as I started the coffee machine on the plywood floor. So much still needed to be done, and I really didn't care if it ever got finished. The doing was more important than the finishing. As long as Lucia was here, I never wanted it finished. I loved working with her and finishing would end that. I wanted what we had now to be my forever. I was so damn selfish.
That smells wonderful, a sleepy voice said from the doorway. I looked up from my seat on the unfinished floor. Lucia was leaning on the door frame, the weak morning sun just breaking through the window to her left. Her hair was an utter mess and her smile was subtle.
You are absolutely gorgeous, I admired. Lucia's t-shirt stopped about mid thigh and really highlighted her naked legs. She smiled and sat cross legged next to me as I poured her a cup of coffee. She traded her phone for the cup. There was a text from Mama, 'Dinner at 6, no late.' "A dinner invitation," I commented.
A summons, Lucia corrected, with bit of laughter.
"I would love to," I said joyfully. Lucia leaned forward, rat's nest and all, and kissed me. Mama was everything to Lucia so Mama was very important to me. I wondered how my life would have been different if my parents hadn't died so young or if I had married and had a family of my own. I tossed the thought aside. Lucia was my now and my forever.
We spent the day shopping. We picked up tile, glue, grout, tools and quite a few gallons of paint. We coordinated with a cabinet company to come out the next day to measure the kitchen and bathrooms. Lucia was keeping it all straight in her head. A beautifully efficient brain was operating under all that hair. I told her so and she just blushed and playfully told me to shut up. She had no idea of her strong organizational skills. I think she fed off my confidence and just kept imagining it was mostly my doing.
In the middle of our shopping spree, Lucia's phone rang. It was Sophia and Lucia's face lit up as she sat down on a bench outside a home store. I saw Lucia's attention disappear into the phone and I smiled. I leaned down and kissed her forehead and signaled to meet me inside the store when she was done. Lucia absently acknowledged me with a smile and wave of her hand. No matter how much we meant to each other, I would be second-fiddle to her daughter. I could live, and die, with that.
I was in the lighting aisle trying to choose ceiling fixtures when Lucia returned with a bounce in her step. I don't think she realized she had been on the phone for over forty-five minutes.
What do you think...for the entry hall? I asked, holding up an enclosed glass fixture with brass trim. Lucia looked for moment, and I could almost see her brain trying to imagine it in the small entryway.
I think indirect would be better, Lucia reflected, it would be warmer and more friendly, she was right, of course, something without visible bulbs would be nicer. We spent some time and chose a light for the entryway and two externals for the porch. She wanted to shop elsewhere for the other rooms since nothing jumped out as perfect.
"I haven't told Sophia about you yet," Lucia admitted while we waited in line to check out. She was leaning into me, comfortably. I thought about it for a moment. I wondered why that didn't bother me. I would be just a blip to Sophia, a hello and then a goodbye.
"You shouldn't," I stated, after a short pause, "she has enough to worry about in life." The only thing I could offer Sophia was pain.
Possibly anger if she resented my selfishness with her mother. It was best for her, and Lucia, if we never met.
"It won't bother you?" Lucia asked with concern. She almost looked like she was the one with the short lifespan. I smiled at her loving balancing act Sophia on one side and me on the other.
"It would cause her nothing but pain," I said carefully, "I never want to be the cause of that. I have already been too selfish with you." Lucia welled up a bit and hugged me close, almost knocking me into a battery display.
"I love you," Lucia whispered. It hurt when she said it. I had already known it, but having it out there in the open was both joyous and chastising. I had linked her to my demise. I was going to cause her tremendous pain and I was way too weak to let her go. I needed her more than the house. I needed her more than another fifty years.
"I love you too," I whispered back. An interrupting cough from the cashier broke our kiss. We were holding up the line.
The hot water heater was man's greatest invention. It allowed me to linger in the shower with Lucia. Washing her was an absolute delight. I spent time washing her hair, something she enjoyed very much. I found her breasts to be filthy at least that was my excuse.
The experience wound her up tightly and she forced me, laughing, to lie down in the tub. It was slippery, uncomfortable and so very wonderful when she lowered herself onto me. It was blissfully slow, her grinding into me as warm water caressed us both. I was her prisoner, trapped between the tub's sides and unable to move. She seemed to like the control and teased me as she took her pleasure. I followed her to the clouds, only seconds after her tremors incited me. I made a mental note to replace the old tub with a wider one.
Mama was waiting at the door when we arrived. We had to park in the street since there were already two cars in the driveway. I knew one belonged to Doctor Collins. Lucia had said he would be here. I knew why and I didn't hold it against her. This was something I couldn't stop and I knew it was necessary.
Mama was smiling when she embraced me. I felt her love as she held me and told me she was glad I was here. It surprised me, after what I was subjecting her daughter to. I was expecting a colder reception. I returned it in kind which seemed to please Mama and her daughter which, in turn, pleased me. I wasn't used to that type of greeting; it seemed foreign in some way. Once inside I saw Doctor Collins and what looked like a colleague of his.
You are padding the bill, Doc? I asked in good humoredly. Doctor Collins laughed as he rose. We shook hands.
This is Doctor Pierce, a neurologist, Collins introduced me to the thirty-something doctor wearing jeans and a polo, all of it designer.
Camilla has offered a barter Collins smiled dinner in exchange for consultation?
That and the Director told us to be here, Pierce stated with a smile, nodding toward Mama.
I have much power, Mama said with a sly smile. I guessed working 30 years for the same organization begets benefits not given to the average employee.
Mama's dinner was as excellent as that last time. She had prepared steak drizzled with a wonderfully spicy cheese topping with julienne potatoes and lightly-seasoned, steamed broccoli. I would have had thirds again, but someone had invited two hungry doctors.
I felt a bit jealous when Mama served them with seconds. I was selfish that way.
Over coffee, the inevitable conversation began. I had heard it all before and really didn't relish a rehash. Doctor Collins was the first to spot my reluctance. He, of course, was used to these conversations.
Can we take this to the front room? Collins asked, looking at Mama. She looked at me and nodded. Lucia was looking a little confused.
I've heard it before I said quietly to Lucia, we'll talk after. She saw my apprehension and kissed me on the cheek. Everyone but Mama picked up their coffees and headed to the front room.
You know how do dishes? Mama asked. She knew enough to take my mind off the conversation. I stood and started collecting plates.
Of course, I replied with a smile. Mama went to set up the sink as I collected the dishes and silverware.
She need, to know, Mama said, handing me a freshly washed plate to dry. I ran a towel across its base and around the rim.
"I know," I replied, "it's just not a fun conversation." Mama nodded while handing me another dish.
We will be there when God call Mama said clearly. The word 'we' struck hard. Now I've dragged two people into my private cesspool.
I didn't mean to suck her into this. I looked at her as she dipped another plate in the soapy water.
To be continued