Now All I Know Is Alone

My heart is hidden in those walls alongside memories of the time we spent
  hungering for our next hit
I cannot remember when our room went dim or the faucet no longer dripped
Or how, below overdue bills piled on your desk I found a pink slip
Our love would never be one on which stories are built
But nothing will numb my sadness
   it just grows in place of your absence

Would he be bound to secrecy or keep telling lies?
Life is absolute and to be absolved is to live in light
I know my love’s way remains impure, but I can only pray for mine
It would never happen again so he said I should silence my cries
His anger transgressed against all boundaries we’d set
   and my body could not withstand

Craving something else to resolve the pain
I hoped his venom would dissolve, but I could tell by the look on his face
Blot carefully, rinse and repeat
   watching crimson swirls circle a rusty drain
Bruises discolored by ink stains imbedded in my flesh
He carved a new rose to cover up my old burns and called it art
   to protect himself

Our roles ordained to be imperfect from birth to burial
Finding it impossible to find sense in this
   helplessness I feel ever since your soul came and went
Your voice lives inside my head and my world is never quiet but lonely evermore
A drunk and recovering failure just laying low
How could we be rid of a habit we convinced ourselves we needed
   as opposed to needing to live?

Now I search for a silver lining to replace my aimless wondering
   where did we go wrong and should the blame be placed on me?
Through sinfulness and strife; bloodshed and every long night
I find peace believing sobriety would reveal good bones of the man you could’ve been