deepundergroundpoetry.com
dying to live
i am a man
of solitude
destined to be
alone
i long to hug
the world
love thinks i have
an attitude
hate thinks i am
a stoic man
destined to be
cast down
dark arrows at
me hurled
i wish i had a
better plan
i am a thirst
born of the dark
longing myself
to prove
here in my dead
shell curled
why are death's hands
so cold and stark
i am a soul
trapped in a cage
dying to live
to love
my oyster to
be pearled
saved from this self-
defeating rage
© Copyright 2021 February 28
by Clyve A. Bowen♫
of solitude
destined to be
alone
i long to hug
the world
love thinks i have
an attitude
hate thinks i am
a stoic man
destined to be
cast down
dark arrows at
me hurled
i wish i had a
better plan
i am a thirst
born of the dark
longing myself
to prove
here in my dead
shell curled
why are death's hands
so cold and stark
i am a soul
trapped in a cage
dying to live
to love
my oyster to
be pearled
saved from this self-
defeating rage
© Copyright 2021 February 28
by Clyve A. Bowen♫
Published 28th Feb 2021
| Edited 12th Mar 2021
Author's Note
View fullscale online visual (copy/paste link):
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Cabby, this is excellent on so many levels, from rhyme to presentation.
I do think it would benefit from capitalizing the sentence beginnings, as I found myself merging some of the sentences together without signposts of closure.
I do think it would benefit from capitalizing the sentence beginnings, as I found myself merging some of the sentences together without signposts of closure.
Thank you for your kind words, JB.
You always seek to be instructive in your appraisal, which I appreciate in preference to someone simply reading and passing along.
When it comes to poetic style, format, and license, I do navigate between a variety of choices. I see the point you are making in this instance and would humbly give two explanations that may appear to be justifications:
1. Free-verse is legitimate, even if the reader hesitates to embrace its nebulous nature. It is just a matter of choice, which may not be everyone's preference, so please forgive me on that count.
2. Free-verse often runs the risk of being ambiguous, which is the high price for liberal liberty. The poet does not necessarily care about committing himself/herself to one fixed or predictable message but leaves the reader to interpret whatever his/her mind sees.
Similar movements are found in the visual arts in abstract paintings, as well as in the music of individuals such as John Cage, who would leave open spaces in his live electronic music recordings so that incidental bird sounds or footsteps from passersby could become part of his compositions.
Thanks for opening the way for me to give this explanation it may be useful to prospecting artists.
Your R/L is a great honour.
Sincerely
cab
You always seek to be instructive in your appraisal, which I appreciate in preference to someone simply reading and passing along.
When it comes to poetic style, format, and license, I do navigate between a variety of choices. I see the point you are making in this instance and would humbly give two explanations that may appear to be justifications:
1. Free-verse is legitimate, even if the reader hesitates to embrace its nebulous nature. It is just a matter of choice, which may not be everyone's preference, so please forgive me on that count.
2. Free-verse often runs the risk of being ambiguous, which is the high price for liberal liberty. The poet does not necessarily care about committing himself/herself to one fixed or predictable message but leaves the reader to interpret whatever his/her mind sees.
Similar movements are found in the visual arts in abstract paintings, as well as in the music of individuals such as John Cage, who would leave open spaces in his live electronic music recordings so that incidental bird sounds or footsteps from passersby could become part of his compositions.
Thanks for opening the way for me to give this explanation it may be useful to prospecting artists.
Your R/L is a great honour.
Sincerely
cab
