We're Not Too Hard To Please

 
Why do you want to know about what goes whirling around inside my head?
Because I’m able to set a table with a playbill that you’ll love to read the spread
My brain’s a plain plane about to crash while loaded with methane and propane
So, sit back, relax and watch the explosions and perhaps enjoy some champagne
 
I’m a respectful dirty motherfucker who is a sucker for a damsel in distress
I obsess to impress with finesse to maybe even conversationally undress
I want to know what makes my woman swoon and swirl to rock her world
And then worship that pearl that the mere thought makes her toes curl
 
But if there is one thing that pisses me off and it really makes me tick
Is whining and complaining like it’s aiming to turn me into a big dick
No pun intended but if you’re offended because I hate any bitching
Then the wonderful magic disappears and there goes the bewitching
 
I like my woman to be smart with a heart of gold and appreciates the arts
With a good sense of humor, laughs hard at my jokes ‘til she pees or farts
I like to have intelligent and profound conversations that can last all night
We don’t even need to fuck because her mind is what I’d rather excite
 
We’re all flawed in some way and some of us will fuck up from time to time
Don’t look for perfection or have expectations that it will always be sublime
Be willing to forgive and learn because I know that trust is hard to earn
And if we yearn to grow then we will get something bigger in return
 
Let me be blunt and up front, pussy power is our weakness and inspiration
It makes men climb mountains and cross seas for the sake of procreation
We like to swing our dictionaries at our adversaries until somebody wins
I just hope that my very merry hairy vocabulary made you think and grin
 
Or just keep his belly full and balls drained that his brain will freeze
When the blood rushes out of our heads, we’re not too hard to please
 
¯\_(ツ)_/¯