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Interview with a Leaf Mantis

 
David: Iím David Attenborough
and today we will be conducting  
an interview with a Leaf Mantis
 
Leaf Mantis: Thank you for having me
By the way, I loved you in Star Wars
 
David: That was Sir Alec Guinness

Leaf Mantis: Oh, Sorry
I loved you in Bridge On The River Kwai

David: That was a young Alec Guinness
And he passed away some time ago
 
Leaf Mantis: My condolences
 
David: We were not related
 
Leaf Mantis: Oh, but I loved you in Jurassic Park
 
David: That was my brother Richard
 
Leaf Mantis: The Great Escape?
 
David: That was also my brother Richard
When he was young and heís passed away too
 
Leaf Mantis: I must get my five eyes checked
My condolences
 
David: Thank you  
 
Leaf Mantis: So where do I know you from?
 
David: Well, I have done dozens of documentaries
on nature and the planet. I studied Natural Sciences
At Cambridge and have travelled the world to meet
creatures like you. But this interview is about you
and your interesting species.
 
Leaf Mantis (blushing): Oh Geez, thanks Mr. Attenborough
What would you like to know?
 
David: Well, I think our viewers would be curious
in knowing in what goes on in the daily life of a Leaf Mantis
 
Leaf Mantis: So you want me to tell you about my life?
 
David: Yes, that is what I do, I collect the stories of
the animal kingdom and they are shown on the BBC
 
Leaf Mantis: I think youíll need a lot of video tape
 
David: We do everything digital now so we have
plenty of recording material so thatís not a problem
 
Leaf Mantis: You followed me to this tree
 
David: I supposed we did, the camera crew saw you
and we thought you were interesting,
is this tree where you live?
 
Leaf Mantis: No, itís just a tree
But I was waiting for you on this tree
I was watching you watching me
Then you began to speak
 
David: Well lucky for me
 
Leaf Mantis: Perhaps lucky for both of us
 
David: You said you were waiting for me
Wait, are you? Did we just recite the lines to
Interview with a Vampire?
 
Leaf Mantis: Haha, you caught me David
I was just messing with you
 
David: So Mantises have a sense of humor
 
Leaf Mantis: Yes David, we do
But what I said about me waiting for you
in the tree, itís really true
This green camouflage letís me hide  
amidst the plants to catch my prey
 
David: Fascinating
 
Leaf Mantis: But I just like to chill and wait
Watch the other insects pass and fly by
because most of the time they donít notice me
but thatís OK, because I got me a date  
 
David: A Date?
 
Leaf Mantis: Yeah. See I donít really get out much
but I heard there is this girl mantis
who lives a couple of trees from here
I heard the girl is a freak
So I canít wait to go out with her later today
 
David: ButÖ
 
Leaf Mantis: Yeah, she got that butt too you know
a couple of my other friends went out with her
but I havenít seen them in a while
so, it just means thereís more of me for her
If you know what Iím sayiní
 
David: Yes, howeverÖ
 
Leaf Mantis: Look David, I know that the life-span
of you humans is like eternal compared to us Mantises
but this girl Mantis is like hot to trot and I canít wait
so, Iíma cut this interview short but thank you for stopping by
Just let me know when your BBC special airs  
so I can watch myself
maybe you can even record me in action
If you know what Iím sayiní
Talk to yaíll later
Peace!
 
David (to his crew): Someone should tell him
 
David (to the camera): This has been  
An Interview with a Leaf Mantis
for A Perfect Planet, Iím David Attenborough
Good Night
Written by wallyroo92
Published
Author's Note
For the Through New Eyes comp
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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