I sit

 
I sit here staring at you in silence,
with a tear that wants to fall down my face.
Thinking about us and all we have been through.
All the promises you made then broke some of them
The tear falls as I think about all the fights that made me cry.
You have hurt me in the deepest way.  
Sometimes it hits me to the core but
No matter how bad it hurts I'm still here.
I don't expect you to understand
What I'm going through inside my head. 
You only see that we are good.
You don't see me in pain 
I love you more than you could ever know.
I hope with all my heart that you never go away but
I can barely talk to you. You only listen sometimes what you wanna hear.
Which may not be 100% true 
I know you care about my problems just a little bit
I don't know if you care about my feelings or what I think at all. 
I know what I feel and what I think doesn't matter really that much to you.
Sometimes when I try to talk to you
You just shut me out, like when you watch your YouTube videos
On the days you don't work and
When I try to talk you may listen for a minute then go back to you video
It makes me feel so alone and that I'm a waste of time to talk to or 
you have better things to do besides talking to me.
After awhile I don't try and watch a movie on my phone or talk to friends
And I'm so tired of trying to get more than 3 hrs a day to talk to you.
I'm starting with being okay with us hardly not talking  
I'm human too and I have feelings just like you do
I'm still here regardless of what my mind is telling me because I love you
I wish I could go back and fix whatever I did wrong
Sometimes I feel like we are lost even though we are together.
I strive everyday to fix us but
It's hard when I feel like I'm the only trying
I know you work because I don't but I do things for you.
I feel like you are pushing me away and I don't know why
You use to write poems about me all the time but now you don't hardly write
We use to hold hands more that we do now and 
you used to love taking pictures with me now it's like I always have to ask.
We would also stay up late just talkin about different things now we hardly talk at all.
I don't know what happened but I feel like somehow we grew apart.
You may not feel the same way.
 this is coming from my heart, my own feelings, and 
my own thoughts but then again it might just be me
Maybe I'm the one who grew apart and maybe I'm the one who is lost
I just thought you should know how I feel
I don't want to leave how can it be a marriage
If you never really want to really talk about anything
I never thought I would ever feel this way about you
I'm sorry if this is all wrong I'm just saying how I feel again
I feel like I'm all alone and sometimes neglected.