paper house in the rain

You're an asshole
and I lie here in the aftermath  
of my failed escape  
wondering why I came back  
 
You are not the person  
I fell in love with  
you're an addiction  
masquerading as a person  
 
I can't talk to you  
in these lost moments  
where we can't understand each other  
my emotions running too hot and hard  
under my skin  
your addictions rationalising  
every bad decision  
like that makes them justified  
 
I want you to want me  
as much as I want you  
... as much as I wanted you  
 
I want what we had  
and maybe that's why I stay  
when I dream of leaving  
I remember you the way you were  
before you became a nightmare  
 
When I look at you  
I can still see the angel in your eyes  
 
You used to make me feel safe  
 
But used to isn't a reason  
to come home anymore  
 
You're an asshole  
I don't know why I came  back  
 
©  Indie Adams 2021