the bad parts

the parts of my disorder
make me question how am i still alive
i need order
why should i continue and strive

i feel off today not in my own my mind
i feel in a trace
the resolution is hard to find
like im lost in space

i cant wait till the coverstations ends
its hard to focus on what they are saying
dont have many friends
i feel like im decaying

this is something i can not control
i cant pick when this happens
it feels like im in a black hole
i need to find the balance

these doctors dont get that these pills are not helping me
for some reason my symptoms escalate
feels like im in chains let me be
i cant think straight

i cant feel right now
i dont want to feel
no one knows what to say wow
im not even sure what is real