there's no need to read this
i constantly feel like i'm losing my mind. nothing i say is ever worth a damn. there can be no disagreeing. i have to be quiet and I have to be obedient. and please don't start on the bullshit of "I want to hear what you want to say" or "nobody's saying you can't disagree" because that's exactly what it is. bullshit. because when I disagree everything I've ever said or done becomes ammunition. when I say what I want to say it feels like i'm being gaslighted into oblivion. when i'm not quiet, i'm talked over and ignored. then I try to make you listen. to demand to say what I want to say. but i'm not allowed to be impolite. how dare I interrupt? how dare I speak out of turn? one day everyone will have to hear me. one day everyone will have to actually hear what i'm saying.