truth is I've been a child since I grew up.
I've hardly ever adulted and when I did
it was meagre. when I'm with adults or strangers
my body language says prime male but my actual output
is alien bitch. I want to be more train station
than before but what if. I keep saying no because secretly
I'm waiting for someone who has the exact same dream
as me on the same night then shares it with me.
what I mean is
I was born directly into adulthood
and as I gained independence the child
came from behind the windows of me
and out nto the garden.
everywhere I sit with my son I've never sat there before.
we're both new to this page. we think
by sitting at places we can make them more familiar
but we're not familiar ourselves.
my son dreamed of a spider sprawled
on his small hand in the dark and he cried
for about 20 minutes.
I dreamed of thousands of spiders white and big
like small hands
blotting out the windows in my bedroom.