Losing My Religion

I wish that I could write to you
of flowery fields and morning dew;    
of lush, green grass and skies of blue,    
that's usually what I try to do.    
But on the forefront of my mind    
is a forest of unkind—    
that's crowding up the canopy,    
and clouding up my sky.    
For my sanity, I fight,    
as I try to find a different way;    
caught in a constant cognitive chase    
to keep the dissonance at bay.    
And I've been wishin' it away,    
trying to cope with these emotions;    
like a fish without its gills,      
I'm down I'm drowning in the ocean.    
What was supposed to be devotion    
became open-heart surgery,    
when a piece of my soul was stolen    
in a broken-heart burglary.    
Left in the infirmary—    
stuck in a state of purgatory;    
you've probably heard the story    
a thousand times before.    
...but wait, there's more    
I'm on the path to recovery,    
but I'm moving rather slow;    
basking in the summer heat,    
like a turtle in the road.    
Cocked & shell shocked—    
I'm a total overload;    
toting so much baggage,    
you would have thought I was a bellhop.    
My self-taught, coping mechanisms    
contain copious amounts of pessimism,    
which I inflict upon my audience    
until there's no one left to listen.    
I'm making a key decision    
to escape this prison in which I lay;    
to find a better way of livin'    
and see the light of another day.    
But I'm losing my religion,    
as I strive to find my faith,    
'cause believing in myself    
has reduced me to a wraith.
Written by NewBeginnings
Published | Edited 24th Jan 2021
Author's Note
Lately, I've been struggling with depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues, which have been spilling into my writing. This definitely isn't my best work, but I'm sharing anyway.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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