Backward love

Heart of coagulated blood; does not pump;
Never to beat or even to thump. 
Veins are no longer filled with blue;
Arteries flamed dried because of you. 

You killed everything that I was at that time;
Just when I just started my prime. 
Mind twisted; barb wired tied;
Oxygen draining; filling with dioxide. 

Leaving miles of tendons that you drag behind you;
Leaving the smell of rotten mildew. 
Digging at my once filled mind;
Leaving me hopeless; leaving me blind. 

Now I'm pissed. 

I gave you everything you needed bitch;
I loved to push you in a culvert, or a shit filled ditch. 
You deserve everything that hell can give you wits;
For I have always viewed you as Satan with tits. 

I wish that I had a special word that I could describe you most;
You were like a fucking parasite that latched on to a host. 
I gave you that one special event that lovers only get;
You ran with that right, and it didn't mean shit. 

I'd like to go back that first time of you meeting I;
For I would have never of stopped; passed right by. 
Never to take the life I had made for myself;
But to take my heart,soul,mind; all by yourself. 

I should not blame you 100%;
For I took it as a suicide supplement. 
Instead of falling off a cliff above;
I fuct up and chose love. 

I meant every word I said you thee;
Your were to fucking blind to see. 
You touched me in places that I didn't know I had;
Just to play your mind games and drive me mad. 

My eyes can no longer see the beauty I had once seen;
I would have killed you if I was on a 
amphetamine. 
Slicing your throat to your spine;
Just like you did with mine. 

That's all over; it's a brand new start;
I can now see women as a work of art. 
Any woman could be my Eve of choice;
Only if she would take the time to here my voice. 

I am not truly a perfect 10 nor would I want to be;
See...I only know how to be me. 
I now know something about life itself;
If you can't be true to anyone; be true to yourself. 

Now my canvas of beautiful women exists only in words;
They will never split my heart in thirds. 
I might never meet the woman that I'm fond of;
For she is truly the definition of love.