Rainy Night Walks part 2

Rainy Night Walks part 2


The sushi was great, and I'm almost full. But I could go a bowl of miso soup please.

Saki started to ladle the soup into the bowl. As she did, with her head bowed, she added I thought what Sue did to you was wrong. I found it hard to forgive her, and I didn't know how to raise it with you.

Were you a friend of Linda's?

Not really. We shared a few classes. I knew who you were after that.

Linda apologized to me, and we ended up okay. It was Josie who really caused the trouble.

I sat for a minute while Saki took an order from a woman who had walked in for takeout. While Saki fixed her sushi, I added I'm sorry, I didn't even know you were at my school.

We ran in different circles, had different classes. I had a few good friends, and a circle of acquaintances. I saw you around a bit but you always seemed to have a distant look in your eyes, like you were searching for something.

The woman paid for her sushi and left.

I felt it safe to continue. "I was. I wanted sex" I laughed. And Saki laughed with me. Among many others I lusted after Linda Butler. When I went to University of Northern Iowa, I realized what a small pool I was swimming in here. But I only had one real relationship, and it finished sooner that it should have.

That's a shame. While we are in confessional, I will add that I have never had a serious relationship. I went on a few dates but I had to study hard. None of the boys were good enough to make me want to veer from my goal. I have had sex though, once or twice, and it didn't really do it for me. It felt like a challenge I would like to accept, but I really needed to think about it. Was it real or loneliness talking? And it was something real how would I do it?

Really, I find that hard to believe. Is it that you want to be in a relationship, or that the guys you were with had no idea?

Probably both. The boys just wanted to get off, they didn't care about me. On one date he was so bad at pleasing me I had to dial up porn when I got home and masturbate to get off. The porn was way more interesting than he was. I basically didn't bother with partners from then on when I needed to get off, I logged on.

Well, I guess it worked for you sort of, but for those of us who actually care, I'm sorry those guys didn't look after you. I would've made sure you were happy.

The conversation moved onto more mundane things. Saki also had to work as more customers arrived. I finished with a green tea and wished Saki a good afternoon.

I spent some time at home thinking about the conversation we had shared. I was a bit gun shy after Linda and Olivia. I couldn't risk the emotional investment in something that might be short lived. But I could also see the opportunity to get to know a lovely girl more than I did now. I could do that at a low risk if I kept my feelings in check, and if Saki was willing to get to know me a bit better. I decided to see if she would see a movie with me. I was aware there was a risk because she might see me as opportunistic or believe I was only interested in sex.

It took a week to organize. I asked her the next time I saw her, but there was no immediate answer. Saki told me that she needed to think about it because of her experience. I told her I understood, and that when she was ready, she could give me her answer.

The next time I saw Saki she told me that she had thought a lot about going out with me. She then said I will go out with you, but please don't mess me about.

l won't. How about this: let's go on one date and see how we feel. If it do not feel right we stop, and there are no questions.

It was hard to find a time that worked for us both. We eventually managed it. Saki chose the movie, a gentle romantic comedy. It wasn't what I would necessarily have chosen but it was a good date movie. There was time for a coffee after the movie. We found a quiet place where we could talk. It seemed we both had things to say.

"Can I go first?" Saki enquired.

"Sure" I replied, with more bravado than I felt. I was worried that she was going to shut me down. While I was concerned that I could take things too far in my mind I wanted that risk.

I've been thinking about you quite a lot. Although I didn't say much those first few weeks, I was watching you. I decided that I wanted to get to know you better. I know it took a while, but here we are.

"Yes. I thought you were going to stop whatever this is. I know there are lots of unknowns but I look forward to seeing what can happen if we spend some good time together. I don't want to get ahead of things, so I hope you will tell me if I overstep."

Don't worry, I will. I need to keep it pretty simple myself. My parents will take some finessing, and there is the future to plan for.

I have some ambitions, but right now seeing my mum through this period is the most important thing. I want to live in the inner city and try my luck, but it will need to wait a bit.

I want a job in the city as well. We need to keep this light until some things become clear. I have some job and university applications in, and luck with any of them will mean moving quite soon.

We've got a bit serious a bit quickly I think, but if it's right then that's good. Let’s enjoy the rest of the night, and see when we can get together again. I take it you would like to go on another date?

After concurring about seeing each other again we drank more coffee and talked about mundane things like life in a boring suburb. I walked her to her door and a said goodbye with a quick peck on the cheek.

I reflected later on the date with Saki. We had both put a lot on the table. I wondered if we had already gone too far surely, we needed just to date, start at the simple beginning where all of these things evolve rather than having them land with a thump between us. But we also needed to recognize that the ground could shift under us at almost any time So we actually needed to find a way to navigate all these mixed metaphors and enjoy what we had. Planning for the future would have to come when it needed to, and otherwise we needed to enjoy the potential of each other.

We decided on a picnic, a fine idea that did not go as planned. It rained. And rained, ironically too much for us. We retreated to my place, and I introduced Saki to my mother. This was sooner than I had anticipated, and it also did not go as I expected. It was way better. We sat around the dining table and talked. I saw something in my mother that I hadn't seen for a long time. She was interested in someone else, something from outside the narrow field she had recently lived in. Her reaction to Saki surprised me and it also allowed me to believe there was something to hope for.

After we finished eating, we moved into my room to listen to music. There was some common ground and some widely divergent opinions. I put on one of my absolute favorite’s. The reaction wasn't favorable so, to stem the critical flow Saki was building up, I leant over and kissed her. Lips only, but it was a start. She kissed me back, and as we broke, I asked her what happens when I choose something you like?

Guess you'll have to pick up your game and chance on something that appeals to me. Then you might find out.

Saki eschewed much of the popular music l had played, and I seemed to have run out of anything I thought she might like. I so wanted to kiss her, so I chose something older, something I thought maybe not well known. I'd always found the Walker Brothers intriguing since my father had introduced me to them. I put on 'Walking in the Rain.' After the opening crack of thunder, it was elegant but still grounded, music to transport you to another place. As it swelled, I looked at Saki, half expecting a gob full of abuse for subjecting her to more dross. However, her eyes softened, she smiled, and she moved to embrace me. Our lips met in a long slow, grinding, kiss. We both emerged smiling, and kept the cuddle for a bit longer. The music now had another association for me.

Things seemed to be moving very quickly, although I did have to consider that I had been talking to Saki for longer than I realized. We seemed to have connected on some deeper level that I didn't really understand and that I didn't want to fight. Why would I? To me Saki was beautiful though some might find her a bit plain. And she was incredibly bright and funny. Why wouldn't I want her? I could only hope that she saw the same potential in me.

I talked to my Mother about where my life was going. She told me she was grateful for my coming home, for helping her keep it together in the weeks and months after my Father died. She asked me what I was planning, and I replied that I wanted to see what happened with Saki. I could work something out almost anywhere, though I did want some big city life, while Saki would be more restrained by opportunities that existed for her. I told her I loved her but that this place had no future for me for work or love. I was assuming that there was a common future for Saki and me, though this was by no means certain. Clearly there were a number of conversations to be had.

To be continued