The ocean reminds me of you

Her energy was the calming breath of waves.
A constant rush in the background I forget until I tune into the back and forth
the in and out. I haven’t
touched the water in months but
I remember what it feels like when it
engulfs you and you forget where you end and it begins;
for a second
you are free.
Please god tell me how I can stay here without drowning when
will you let me be where I belong how many
shells do I have to step on before I can walk on the sand so soft it makes velvet
seethe at its existence.

I see the appeal of drowning because I know the escape and I can't believe we let ourselves come up for air
at all. I imagine
my life if I could just stay there if I could just hold my breath for one more second
and then another
I could exist solely here in this sheath of you and I want
to build and rebuild my home day after day, vying with each crashing wave if it means
I get to be free.

I thought I had a sweet tooth until I was covered in your salt
Turns out it’s better for my skin anyway