We are twenty becoming twenty-one

We are so in need so serious preaching ... great write ... good luck ...

Thanks so much  Lil. There are so many preachers out there and not many to my taste...why the reluctance in this. Ive got no answers just a tonne load of questions,.

Thanks againx

Yaaaas! God this is beautiful, both image and poem! Best of luck in the comp.

Thanks so much. I had read your 'promise of a medicine woman' post in the meditation room as I was writing this.

I was using 'they' and 'them' originally, meaning I was giving all this blame to those in 'power', with that victim mentality that can be so easy to use and lay on some 'other'. Although there may be truth in laying that blame it does no good for ones own progression to heal and strips those from that attention.  It was timely to read that and am glad to have made those changes.

so a big thanks to you lol.

Please post this in the meditation thread, nomoth! This is what I want there! Inspirations!

This is breathtaking. So beautiful. Good luck in the comp!

Thank you so much Eerie, so appreciated. I am really glad you liked it.

Succint & strongly delivered nomoth! Loved the finality three verses of an eternity  bloom..from those plotting six initial lines of an in & out  existentialism..that which serves a perfect foil for the said to be said finally.. fab pic & work..best fr comp & new year wishezz:)  

Thanks so much Uma. Big love to Rob and yourself for the new year too.

Well said. I hear you.

I see that you have time before the comp ends to make revisions.    
    
The entire poem could be one sentence. In fact, it should be. Here's why.    
  
But firstly, you don't need that comma at the end of Line 1.    
   
Secondly, you've stated two things happening "after having". Therefore, you can simply replace the 2nd instance of "after having" with "and". This dispenses with the need for the semicolon.    
   
Once that semicolon is removed, it becomes more obvious that your initial sentence is incomplete.    
   
When this insane cycle retreats    
after yada yada yada and yada,    
the following requires the growth of angels"    
   
Replace that endstop after "bone" with a comma and decapitalize "the". Walla!    
   
This is an amazingly powerful poem, nomoth. And the visual is incredibly haunting. It just needs space to break up what you are saying with pause instead of punctuation that you don't need which is interrupting the flow. Like so:    
   
"When this insane cycle retreats    
after having devised all thought    
to split, divide and dissect    
every breathing cell of ourselves    
   
and allowed each one to gnaw    
the difference in the other to the bone,    
   
the following requires the growth of angels  
within whom this lie did not work."    
   
Good luck in the judging. You have a winner here.  

That makes a hell of a lot more sense. thanks so much Johnny for taking the time to do and explain that. I am going change  it now, It flows and works so much better.

Thanks again.