deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Wall
Pounding heart and short of breath
a stride so curbed.
The bright outlook so quickly turned
to grasp at broken straws.
Some words before were rarely heard
then Covid raised its ugly head.
The foolish laughed, "said do your worst"
and underestimated its deadly curse.
The shroud was cast.
Mirth that echoes the eulogy's last paragraph.
The wall that some could never scale
so the lonely runners could prevail.
a stride so curbed.
The bright outlook so quickly turned
to grasp at broken straws.
Some words before were rarely heard
then Covid raised its ugly head.
The foolish laughed, "said do your worst"
and underestimated its deadly curse.
The shroud was cast.
Mirth that echoes the eulogy's last paragraph.
The wall that some could never scale
so the lonely runners could prevail.
Published 16th Dec 2020
| Edited 17th Dec 2020
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
16th Dec 2020 3:05pm
Excellent work, Slip.
The only thing I could suggest on this would be:
The foolish laughed[ , ] said "do your worst!"
and underestimate[d] its deadly curse.
You could either do the above ( quotation marks ); or, you could actually just italicize the text. I prefer the latter myself. Also, because you are referring to past tense ( laughed ), I would alter underestimate to underestimated.
The only thing I could suggest on this would be:
The foolish laughed[ , ] said "do your worst!"
and underestimate[d] its deadly curse.
You could either do the above ( quotation marks ); or, you could actually just italicize the text. I prefer the latter myself. Also, because you are referring to past tense ( laughed ), I would alter underestimate to underestimated.
Thank you, some of these basic grammar mistakes are still beyond my capabilities, On my version of DU draft page is badly corrupted I have none of the features in the click boxes including Italics you will never see
bold capitals or other fonts in my posts
bold capitals or other fonts in my posts
16th Dec 2020 6:05pm
Slip, are you selecting "Full Edit Options" at the top right of the dialogue box ( the box you type your poem in )? "Poem" is on the left, and "Full Edit Options" on the right. Click that and you will have ALL the editing tools.
