Unclear

The recent strike of life inside me has got me thinking I wanna live. Jesus, why though?
I feel like I want to be in love, to feel loved again. It's been over five years since my heart gave any sign of existence. Maybe some small flips here and there for it's such a stubborn fucker but nothing big enough to bring any injuries. You see, I want my heart to jump so high that it's actually a risk to fall down. I want the possibility of being broken, the fear and excitement of destruction. It's certainly better than death. I'm tired of dragging myself through life like an animated pile of meat waiting to rot. But who could bring life back? Who could turn this useless beating thing into a love box? Peekaboo. If I count to three and remove my hands from my face will someone be there?