deepundergroundpoetry.com
HOWEVER YOU ARE, CALL CHRIST.
HOWEVER YOU ARE, CALL CHRIST.
Don't let your time go by, and you are shy
to meet your Lord, Who is in His high sky.
You can get pure today, not every day
as the pandemic can block your locked way.
You could be in great danger and no one
could approach your locked room to hear your moan.
How would you feel while you would like a priest
to hear your voice to endow you some rest.
Life can distract your mind, but death is near.
Be always clean to shun a greater fear.
The Lord is always prompt when you call Him,
but you don't call when you're not pure and calm.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
____________________________________
Don't let your time go by, and you are shy
to meet your Lord, Who is in His high sky.
You can get pure today, not every day
as the pandemic can block your locked way.
You could be in great danger and no one
could approach your locked room to hear your moan.
How would you feel while you would like a priest
to hear your voice to endow you some rest.
Life can distract your mind, but death is near.
Be always clean to shun a greater fear.
The Lord is always prompt when you call Him,
but you don't call when you're not pure and calm.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
____________________________________
Published 17th Nov 2020
| Edited 19th Nov 2020
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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18th Nov 2020 9:16pm
"You can get pured today, not every day
as the pandemic can block your locked way."
"Pure" is an adjective, not a verb. One can be "made pure", but one cannot "get pured".
And isn't a locked way a way that is already blocked?/ Why would anyone or anything work to block something that is already barred from anyone or anything entering or passing through or along it?
I wonder, too, if I am the only reader of this submission who sees that the way you've worded your lines in this preachy and theologically questionable piece makes them seem like they are working and laboring with the single goal of producing rhymes after predictable rhyme.
And you've once again made a syntactical error in the way you employ "endow".
as the pandemic can block your locked way."
"Pure" is an adjective, not a verb. One can be "made pure", but one cannot "get pured".
And isn't a locked way a way that is already blocked?/ Why would anyone or anything work to block something that is already barred from anyone or anything entering or passing through or along it?
I wonder, too, if I am the only reader of this submission who sees that the way you've worded your lines in this preachy and theologically questionable piece makes them seem like they are working and laboring with the single goal of producing rhymes after predictable rhyme.
And you've once again made a syntactical error in the way you employ "endow".
19th Nov 2020 6:37pm
19th Nov 2020 7:45pm
BTW, given that however is an adverb, "However you are" does NOT mean "no matter what state you are in".
19th Nov 2020 9:20pm
Dear Baldwin,
However is not only an adverb. As an adverb, it doesn't work here. It can also be used as a conjunction to mean: in whatever way. So if we can say: "If you are sad, call Christ," we can say: "However you are, call Christ."
Ever can also be added to: when, where, what, how, to emphasize the meaning of the word.
However is not only an adverb. As an adverb, it doesn't work here. It can also be used as a conjunction to mean: in whatever way. So if we can say: "If you are sad, call Christ," we can say: "However you are, call Christ."
Ever can also be added to: when, where, what, how, to emphasize the meaning of the word.
