Oi Addiction!!  (Shit happens, but so do miracles)

Who the fuck do you think you are?
Making me choose drugs, over my beautiful children
My spirited stepdaughters, my soulmate of a woman
My Ma my Pa...
“ so vicious“
    “ so venomous“
           “ indiscriminate“
What the fuck have you made me do?
The memories are not worth remembering
The secrets i used to get up to...
      The isolation,The manipulation
       Curtains drawn, sick in your own degradation.
Without invitation you invite me to die
Crumbling and stumbling “ Who the fuck am I“?
Where have I gone? I am better than this!!
This exuberant lovable character, dishevelled, confused, pissed...
GOD GIVE ME STRENGTH!!
I SHALL KICK YOU TO DEATH
WITH EVERY INCH OF THIS GLORIOUS BEING
I FUCKING DETEST
YOU have taken everything from me
I have ever truly loved and adored and more
Surely we are done now we are finished
No more your obedient whore..
So on that note “ I surrender“ you win
And this is where my humble story will truly begin
On my knees on my back on the floor
I crawled back into recovery
Head down hood up
Heart racing through that unjudgemental welcoming door
Oh my God!!! What the fuck!!
Why oh why did I ever leave?
These are my people my tribe my fellowship
They just “know” do you what depths “how I feel”
A spiritual journey, An invitation
“We” take this guiding path with no destination
Meetings
Service
Sponsorship
12steps
A willingness with courage with faith with commitment with trust with unity with patience with honesty with humility with acceptance with hope with gratitude with compassion with forgiveness with kindness
And lashings and lashings of self-respect
Lessons lessons lessons
In all of the above
Learning learning learning
That “we” are more than enough
We choose not to stay broken
With thoughts feelings and emotions left unspoken
For the very core of each and every one of us
Is to be kind and forgiving and considerate
And not self-centred or self-willed
Or cruel to ourselves”we are sick of it”
Now we face life head-on
“ what will be will be“
We can now hear the dawn chorus
And sometimes see more than what others see
We are free, we are finally “ME”
And oh what cost do we bear
But we wake with a head full of cleanliness
And with more than enough love to spare...
    (For my sponsor Aidan)🥰