Depressed insomniac

Do you want to know what the worst part of being insomniac is?
Laying down and watching videos and seeing videos that you didn’t even know related to
I was watching a video the other day
The way the video started was, what’s the worst thing you hate about being depressed.
The girl in the video started to go on and on
 you realize how much you relate to things
The little things you hate about depression are like
Reasons why I don’t wanna get out of bed
Reasons why I don’t wanna brush my hair
Deep down you want to but in that moment you can’t you feel useless and helpless and no motivation
Why should I get out of bed do my hair and get pretty when I look in the mirror and I just feel disgusting
Why do all these things for people and people don’t even know how you feel they tell you
oh it’ll pass
oh you’ll get better
I mean it will but in the moment that’s not what we want to hear
The little things you hate about depression is the lack of motivation to have seeing other people happy
when you just want to give up
Why should I get up at a bed and do my hair and get pretty well that’s not what I feel deep inside
The life of a depressive insomniac
Hopeless hopeless useless struggling to even move but doing it because the people around you that’s what they want to see
It feels when you’re in the stage of depression
you really just do things for other people
you don’t want somebody to feel bad for you so you just do what you have to do what’s “normal”
You learn there is no normal because whether you’re doing what’s right or wrong people don’t understand how you feel
The life of the Depressed Insomniac
Is basically learning how to adapt