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Image for the poem smile

smile

my mind is a battlefield that i surrendered to    
because time never healed the wounds  
i suppressed and concealed not caused by you †  
†  
lifeís worth of hurt erupting inside of me †  
i feel my heart corrupting right upon my sleeve thoughts race faster than my own heartbeat †  
†  
iíve reached the end of my rope †  
so i tied it tightly around my throat †  
closing my eyes and letting go of all my hope †  
†  
just as everything fades to black †
†i see you smiling back †  
the rope it snaps †  
and i collapse †  
†  
i begin pacing back and forth in the dark †  
holding on to the feeling of our spark †  
reminiscing all the nights i held you in my arms †  
†  
i just wanted more time †  
but you made up your mind †  
i donít need anymore signs †  
†  
this cannot be i donít want you to see me as the enemy †  
i used to be the one to hold you when youíd sleep † †
†  
youíre not going insane weíre twin flames †
every time that it rains i think of your name  
give me a chance to explain everything i overcame †  
these demons & pain deceit and shame †  
when i call your name silence remains †  
†  
your perception is deception this is not an accurate representation of who i really am †  
i canít even look at my own reflection †  
i hope you understand †  
†  
this heart doesnít belong to me †  
iím waiting to meet there †  
to give it to you †  
by the train station †  
where it all began †  
my safe haven †  
iíll come here everyday †  
and stay there awhile †  
as long as i have to †  
one day i hope iíll see you †
smile †  
†  
†  
†  
cpizzi
Written by cpizzi (Christian P)
Published | Edited 6th Nov 2020
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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