Strength hope unity  truth

 All of my adult life I have been blind and not seeing,
 To a disease that parasites within me,
 Incriminating eliminating and dominating the whole of my being...
 It can "Fuck off"  says I,  as I chose to ignore,the destruction it left in it's wake,
 To all I hold dear and adore ....
 Of course I am "Sorry"  but what does that achieve ?
 It's in my behaviour and my actions now that may soften the blow to all those I have hurt,including myself now who grieves...
 We are human and all have the capacity to awaken to the grateful treasures that arise ,
 As we  crawl from the ashes of hell with unlimited cries of surprise!
Oh look! A life!  Beyond the poisons that we craved,
 And is that a ray of light that shines out of the tomb in which we were enslaved?
 We have been so wrong and will continue to be,
 But the wrongs we now do wrong will be with eyes that can see..
 So! Here I am,  unexpectedly becoming an inspiration to others,
As they to me, as they struggle and suffer, my  resilient sisters and my solid band of brothers,
 And in their trusting relating eyes I see slowly but clearly uncover,
 From out of the depths of despair to the valid sense of "We do recover"
 It has been and will continue to be a truly transformative journey and with redeeming humble paces  I rise the 12 steps,I do not require a pat on the back although I receive an acknowledge them
Nor will I succumb to the potential smothering weight of dwelling upon my regrets,
 Not no more  shall my moral compass be dictated by my Demons,
 I remain fragile, yet strong,no matter how,
 Uncomfortable, unrecognisable,  unfamiliar or unmanageable
 The Tsunami of feelings...
Look!  We are all at a fork in the road with an alternative direction,
 One in which we can stride with pride,
 Whilst carrying our baggage full of our disappearing countless imperfections,
 And with the unconditional unity of my diverse dysfunctional Mötley Crüe N.A family,
 Who can lift me up from my knees without me begging "Please"
 While all around me is in utter calamity!
 Now as I wish from any day forth, I can choose to dream
 I can assure you I will never be pure or perfect  
 But I am honest and willing and now have a god of my understanding  
I will remain clean!!
And at some point in the future serene...
                 " have an unwavering belief in yourself"