High Finance Gone Sexy
In this episode, The Rapper and Sproggs McGee toss some Junk Bonds oversees...
It was a cold day in Hell, just like every other day, since it last froze over. But things were about to change. Hell was starting to warm-up again, and for people in my line of business - that was a good thing.
We had just completed another round of third-party-bridge-financing-gone-wrong, when who walks through the door - the one-and-only Sproggs McGee, Daughter of the great D'Arcy McGee. I don't mind telling you that I was just a little impressed with her "credentials",
She took one look at our PE ratios, and it was lights out for that leveraged broker we had been dealing with.
"You got to be looking at your equity-buy-back when trying to push these flow-through-shares at a zero-discount-rate." -- Uh, OK? Fine, whatever you say Sproggs, but can you get the private-equity firms to buy the discounted paper?
"Listen here Rapper, the boys on Bay St. will sing to whatever tune, DJ Sproggs is flipp'n on the B-Side - or should I say Triple A Credit Junk Bonds, anyone?" As she chuckled to herself.
I'm no monkey in the world of executive high finance, but I would need Buffett himself to decipher this one. When Sproggs gets going and talks-the-tape, there aren't many pit-boys out there who can call her options.
"Rapper, its like this, we take last month's negative derivatives, lump them in with some legit triple-A Puts, package the whole thing with a variable five and quarter point return, and boom, those Euro boys will gobble them up just like last week's turkey."
Brilliant, the girl was a star. We had been banging our heads together for days, and in less than a minute - she has the Euro's lick'n our drumsticks and asking for more return on the Yen. As I picked my dumb-ass jaw off the floor, she leans over in her soft-subtle-voice.
"Its all about the interest rate, honey, everybody likes a rising rate of return, doesn't matter what the underlying securities are, they just want to see a multi-year rising rate..."
My mind starts to wander, I just love it when she whispers dirty-finance to me. I shake my head - OK Sproggs, I don't pay you the big bucks to play Bull Call Spreads with me all day. Lets role this paper out and create some denarios out of thin air. She just smiled lifting her "girls", and wiggled her tight-little-assets out the door...
Another day, another sweet paper-roll-over out the door - God I love my job.