deepundergroundpoetry.com
Better Days
Take me back to the better days
When the sky didn’t look so grey
Before everyone went there separate ways
These days no one seems to stay
Can’t remember the last time I felt okay
I just pray that a smile i won’t have to fake.
I remember when I felt my mind start to break. Thinking about all my life’s mistakes.
Living in a nightmare and I can’t wake.
I hold onto so much hate and it brings this unbearable weight that I carry on my shoulders, it makes it hard to stand up straight. I can’t sleep anymore so I stay up late thinking about all my bad traits. My heads in a fucked up mental state, Got a non stop inner debate between my angel and my demon, I wait to see which one will win and determine my fate. I don’t know how much more I can tolerate so Myself I isolate, I keep letting my fucking demons dominate, the chaos they create makes it hard for me to operate. Sure, I had moments I could celebrate, but nothing ever seemed to stay great. Maybe that’s why I started to self medicate, stimulate abuse felt I had nothing left to loose, there’s always an excuse to use, addiction loves to seduce all awhile tighten the noose. always chasing the euphoria rush from when I was first introduced, it’s just a lullaby of lies, promising to end a lifetime of cries. It’s just a lot, all these issues I got, from childhood to now, there’s always been a knot in my stomach. My heart is starting to rot. I keep trying to change my story’s plot, maybe I’ll give this life one more shot.
When the sky didn’t look so grey
Before everyone went there separate ways
These days no one seems to stay
Can’t remember the last time I felt okay
I just pray that a smile i won’t have to fake.
I remember when I felt my mind start to break. Thinking about all my life’s mistakes.
Living in a nightmare and I can’t wake.
I hold onto so much hate and it brings this unbearable weight that I carry on my shoulders, it makes it hard to stand up straight. I can’t sleep anymore so I stay up late thinking about all my bad traits. My heads in a fucked up mental state, Got a non stop inner debate between my angel and my demon, I wait to see which one will win and determine my fate. I don’t know how much more I can tolerate so Myself I isolate, I keep letting my fucking demons dominate, the chaos they create makes it hard for me to operate. Sure, I had moments I could celebrate, but nothing ever seemed to stay great. Maybe that’s why I started to self medicate, stimulate abuse felt I had nothing left to loose, there’s always an excuse to use, addiction loves to seduce all awhile tighten the noose. always chasing the euphoria rush from when I was first introduced, it’s just a lullaby of lies, promising to end a lifetime of cries. It’s just a lot, all these issues I got, from childhood to now, there’s always been a knot in my stomach. My heart is starting to rot. I keep trying to change my story’s plot, maybe I’ll give this life one more shot.
Published 27th Oct 2020
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The author encourages honest critique.
Yeah, give it one more shot. Deny yourself a few things in the name of money for a while. It's both crap & satisfying at the same time. But in the end, when the shit hits the fan, you can count on your resolve to get you through this because you've done it before.
Anonymous
- Edited 8th Apr 2021 8:45am
27th Oct 2020 6:36am
<< post removed >>
27th Oct 2020 10:16pm
Pretty good, really felt the emotion in it. I was addicted to cocaine from 13 to 19 when I had an overdose after finding out my daughter's mother had put her up for adoption without me knowing and was told by the judge she had already been adopted and I couldn't fight it. Been clean almost six years now.
1st Jan 2021 3:56am
This sounds like one of actually a few of my writings. It’s so hard once you become addicted. I struggle which makes life more difficult.
