deepundergroundpoetry.com
My little one
I want to wrap myself in a thousand hugs and kisses,
To tell myself that I did nothing wrong ; That I was just a little girl,
And that I shouldn't have had to fulfill the motherly role and raise my sister,
Shield her from the monster that is our father.
When we were hiding in the closets, praying he wouldn't find us,
I want to hold myself, and tell her that It was okay to be scared, to cry.
I wrapped myself into a gossamer cloak to defend my father's constant lies,
And for that I will always be sorry for her.
I always believed in the good in him, because he wasn't always bad.
There would be nights where it felt like we had a normal dad,
But then we'd set him off, and the yelling would start.
I couldn't count the number of times I shielded my sister,
When I should've been shielding myself.
I want to hold her in my arms, and tell her it is okay to be afraid,
To tell her that every loud bang isn't a book being thrown at her head,
I want to tell her sorry for every cut and bruised soul that she was ever given,
I want to go back in time, get help.
I would do so much more for her.
So this is Angelica, praying for the healing of her younger self.
To tell myself that I did nothing wrong ; That I was just a little girl,
And that I shouldn't have had to fulfill the motherly role and raise my sister,
Shield her from the monster that is our father.
When we were hiding in the closets, praying he wouldn't find us,
I want to hold myself, and tell her that It was okay to be scared, to cry.
I wrapped myself into a gossamer cloak to defend my father's constant lies,
And for that I will always be sorry for her.
I always believed in the good in him, because he wasn't always bad.
There would be nights where it felt like we had a normal dad,
But then we'd set him off, and the yelling would start.
I couldn't count the number of times I shielded my sister,
When I should've been shielding myself.
I want to hold her in my arms, and tell her it is okay to be afraid,
To tell her that every loud bang isn't a book being thrown at her head,
I want to tell her sorry for every cut and bruised soul that she was ever given,
I want to go back in time, get help.
I would do so much more for her.
So this is Angelica, praying for the healing of her younger self.
Published 26th Oct 2020
| Edited 28th Oct 2020
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