deepundergroundpoetry.com
FIRST THRUST IS THE DEEPEST
Her vagina seepest.
First thrust is the deepest,
his fit inside her thighs
taking her by surprise.
In reflex reacting,
walls begin contracting.
his hip thrusts repeating,
on her G-spot beating.
Legs are interlocking
tightly at his cocking,
until the explosion
brings little death throes on.
Then comes the downwinding
from this pelvic grinding.
He's passively riding
now in his subsiding.
First thrust is the deepest,
his fit inside her thighs
taking her by surprise.
In reflex reacting,
walls begin contracting.
his hip thrusts repeating,
on her G-spot beating.
Legs are interlocking
tightly at his cocking,
until the explosion
brings little death throes on.
Then comes the downwinding
from this pelvic grinding.
He's passively riding
now in his subsiding.
Published 19th Oct 2020
Author's Note
Prompt was parodying the song line 'First cut is the deepest'.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
19th Oct 2020 1:21pm
I know we sometimes use or stretch words or meanings. But Seepest? That's not actually a word, seep, seeping, seeped.
Using Deepest as a way to understand its meaning. Something is the deepest because nothing else is deeper. A vagina is seepest because nothing else is seeping more. Hmm... I suppose that could work. But then would you say,
"Her vagina deepest" Does that sound right to you?
in the same way you say,
"Her vagina seepest"
Perhaps the meaning is there, but then the grammar isn't, though you use deepest in a proper context in the next line.
Why not say,
"First thrust deepest"?
Also-
"his fit inside her thighs"
Was this meant to be fit, or fist? I think either could be arguable just wondering in case there was a typo as you can thrust with both.
Using Deepest as a way to understand its meaning. Something is the deepest because nothing else is deeper. A vagina is seepest because nothing else is seeping more. Hmm... I suppose that could work. But then would you say,
"Her vagina deepest" Does that sound right to you?
in the same way you say,
"Her vagina seepest"
Perhaps the meaning is there, but then the grammar isn't, though you use deepest in a proper context in the next line.
Why not say,
"First thrust deepest"?
Also-
"his fit inside her thighs"
Was this meant to be fit, or fist? I think either could be arguable just wondering in case there was a typo as you can thrust with both.
20th Oct 2020 6:22am
By 'seepest' I was harking back to older English that would have been commonplace (say up to 19th century) poetically and also in prose by some writers. Putting 'deepest' in its place would result in two successive lines ending in the same word, when in rhyme one aspires to use different words. I certainly want to keep the order as I want to reinforce the message lubrication should come before insertion (do this other way round would be technically rape).
20th Oct 2020 2:08am
20th Oct 2020 6:24am
Without the seeping (of lubrication) there should be no deeping (of penetration).
