Letter From a Dead Man

~the obituary~
the news is old
but the pain of death
is new... again
you took all my options  
for reconciliation,
swallowed them down  
with cheap vodka
and finally got some sleep
my earliest memory of you
remains a dust cloud
of machine-gunned questions;
your round, 8-year old face  
with eyes that were always  
a little too frantic,
hands twisting into each other
while I gathered my timid words
to provide answers;
you never seemed to mind,
playing jump rope
with my patience
even then I had to  
process your energy
in doses  
and yet, I instantly loved you -
a most authentic spirit
in a my world
of force-fed fairy tales,
though you hid that truth
in grandiose stories
meant to deflect  
your eagerness to fit in,
and all that pain at knowing
you never would;
I championed your cause
to third-grade bullies,  
taking the brunt of their ire
while you ran to safety
a pattern that became  
the basis
of our friendship
well into our forties
~the letter~
a plain white envelope
tumbles wildly  
from my mailbox,
as if your words contain
the hyperactive ghosts  
of your unwavering need
to move freely and often;
my name, written carefully
in that same elementary scrawl
Iíd still know anywhere
reaches out and twists my gut
I should still be able to call you,
we could work all this out  
the way we always did -
with razor-blade sarcasm
and a heaping dose  
of gracefully overlooking
each, our broken parts
but I canít,
and the acceptance
of that realization  
weighs a fair ton
in my lungs
and now, all I have
are your last words to me
after I sacrificed you  
to save myself -
my turn, at last
wether they forgive
or condemn me,  
Iím not sure which
I hope for most
one day when Iím ready,
Iíll pour myself two fingers
of that horrid clear hangover
you declared the good stuff
and Iíll let you speak your peace;
until then...
rest well, my oldest friend
Written by LunaGreyhawk
Author's Note
May you find peace, Ramon A Stribling III aka Trey 5/30/73 - 08/13/20, my childhood friend ♥️.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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JohnnyBlaze Ahavati DanielChristensen NewBeginnings DCLXVI_1989 Honoria Em-ily ELIAS11
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