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Angel in the Clouds

- Angel in the Clouds -

How from the first days of my life, I felt so apart!
Whilst others fit in with ease that I oft had not�
Seeing with eyes so unlike my own, in all their art.
I saw far more than they, and so deeply thought.
I could not bring forth my thoughts to be as they,
For mine soared in places where passion burned�
Those thoughts of mine: growing long as the day.
Ah, for the simpler things I had of old yearned�
But so darksome was the wellspring of my being,
That none could fathom: the depths of its� recess.
From the source of that depth, I could often sing,
Songs of desire, born of longing and such excess!
Excess of joy and sorrow: dreams in the evening,
From which even waking I could never escape�
For once held thereby with chains of mighty ring,
My heart is bound, too fast to ever contemplate.
Who could see my secret loves, and know them?
It is hard to see beyond the limits of flesh, bone,
Whilst all that lies within, is so easy to condemn!
As if desire were a crime that one should atone�
How I have paid, in all my agonies I have spent,
A fountain of tears: that fall still in a mad torrent!
Thoughts of my youth come with the rising sun�
They part the clouds of night, wherever so begun.
Reminders of a turbulent life, filled with so much,
Both good and ill, all the memories of that bunch!
Yet none bind me so utterly to their will than one,
One thought that rises up and is oft so unwelcome!
That in the red skies of the dawn, I see an angel�
As real to me: as the ringing of some church�s bell.
Is she there, flying higher than the lofty mountain?
Or did my prayers conjure her from some far den!
Are prayers a form of magic, to conjure up things?
When in the months of autumn, spirits roam freely,
People are of a mind to accept a being that brings:
Fear to some and hope to others, soaring fiercely�
Such are the dead to those who hope they live on,
So why is it so hard to believe me when �tis done!
Have you not once, when lightning cracks the sky,
Seen shapes and shadows flitting ever swiftly by?
Fleeing from the gathering storm, amidst thunder,
Mayhap a trick of the light, or some odd wonder�
Could make you behold the form of things unseen,
And there: angels and devils alike will take flight,
Before your very eyes: amidst the pale moonlight.