Image for the poem Perspective


There are never adequate words
to describe the loss of a child—
 that is what you must realize
 when extending sympathies

Each child is individual, unique
in their own respective existence;
there is an emptiness regardless
of how many siblings remain

Things not to say to a mother
grieving the death of her child:

"At least you have more children"

"At least you have the other twin"

"Did he just die, or commit suicide?"

"At least you had years with him;
some lose them at birth,
or can have none at all"

and so forth

Please, shut up—
for futue reference:
things to say to a mother
grieving the loss of her child:

"My deepest condolences [ stop ]"

"My heartfelt condolences [ stop ]"

"You are in my prayers [ stop ]"

"If there is anything I can do. . .[ stop ]"

"I am here for you [ stop ]"

"He was the sweetest boy,
I loved his [ smile, laugh, jokes, etc ] [ stop ]"

There are no adequate words
when a mother loses a child—

don't make it about yourself;
and, if nothing else
please, know when to stop
Written by Ahavati
Author's Note
In memory of Carson: 10.25.2005-09.20.2020
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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