Consciously Unconscious

I gave her parts of me
Parts of my mind, thoughts
Ideas to enchant and enthrall her
Reasons to smile and feel something

I gave selfishly, foolishly, of course
Gave her a bit more than expected
Every now and then, was so into her?
Her forces surrounded and took me

My music player expressed gratitude
I was thankful again, held her
Was I soft or hard or in-between?
Or both, she gave nothing away

Looked up, like two moons, smiling
I was not certain, of what I wanted
And needed, I plodded on regardless
Lost her for a minute, then …

She was back, I smiled inside
Thought I caught her smiling too
We looked at each other like two frauds
Two well-intentioned loving frauds

I took as much as I could safely carry
Felt guilty again, soldiered on
My conscience chiming in, unwanted
Needed constantly, thankful unconsciously