dreams are the minds manipulation of the heart

Laying here, staring at my phone
My eyes sore from screentime
Knowing... Knowing that I'll dream
If I just let go and let my mind slip
But knowing they will be there either way
Keeps me staring at this magic device,
Scrolling, scrolling, and scrolling
My anxiety flying higher and higher
Swirling up with ever upwards motion of my thumb
Need to tell the doctor to please give me a pill
To stop my dreams and clean my soul
My mind and my heart are equal parts liars
And I know the truth deep down inside me
But I know, gods I know, that I want to sleep But knowing the dreams are there and so I scroll
Trying to prevent dreaming of my past, so full of ghosts
Knowing my mind must view this as a fantasy
How easy our brains play with our hearts
Presenting it with visions that tantalize
And outright seduce, so quick to paint fiction
To cause our most hidden desires to be alive
Probing our sore wounds with "what ifs"
My heart keeps screaming to let it go
To let us move on, to not read more into it
Reality is not dreams and my heart can't take it
Dreams are created by the mind to make sense
Of the things that the heart hides from the world
I do not wish to dream, no, not anymore
Can I just close my eyes and then wake up the next day?
Can I just... Not have my dreams fuck with reality?