overwhelmed

i have discovered certain triggers
i feel so overwhelmed
she's my friend so I just feel this way but I do
I'm going to break soon

I have discovered I could just say no
I have a tendency to not want people upset with me
I know your hurt by this guy but I just want to go
I been a messenger for you two back and forth

I know the raven is a messenger
but this raven is exhausted
I am not mad at you
more mad at the guy for basically hurting you

the thing about ill do what you ask
the thing I hate is getting messages back to back
I don't know what to say
or how to react

i just keep it all inside
till I can't stand it no more
I will explode
there's nowhere to hide

i feel inside this dark ball
something just waiting to explode
something waiting for me to get bad again
something wants me to fall

I try to control it
keep inside its cage
hoping it doesn't feel me with rage
I don't want to throw a fit

I need to learn that's it's ok to say the word no
I don't understand why that word is so hard to say
as I go about my day
I don't want any foes

i need to be calm
I need to tame this inner monster