Sweet Release

Oh how the glimmer from a serrated blade use to make me cum.
And how my best friend, lover and worst enemy's name was Stanley.
How my best sexual experience during that chapter of my life consisted of cutting myself shaving with my birth mothers brand new Venus Gillette razor while I was humming that God-awful commercial jingle.
But mostly I remember how no one ever appreciated my "works of art"
I was always told of how much of an embarrassment my cuts were.
Instead of them being the muse I considered them to be.
On my 16th birthday my birth mother took the "family" and I to the Great Wolf Lodge and I had to wear a bathing suit naturally that revealed my thighs proudly displaying my already scabbed cuts, how remarkable of a masterpiece it was.
My birth mother couldn't take me to the closest gift shop fast enough to purchase me a cover up so that people wouldn't stare and inquire so children wouldn't see (what a drama queen).
Though I wasn't insecure about my magnificent creations I recall pretending to be
It was so difficult not to walk funny lol
Like my cherry was just popped.
With a glorified strut and sway in my hips, each step confident and graceful
As if I had just found out that I had become a woman.
I enjoyed having that power back then, to move people the way I did.
My self-harm allowed for me to be seen
after being invisible to everyone for so long.
I really couldn't understand what the big fuss was about.
I was only mirroring what had been done to me through my artistic creativity and what better palate than the human canvas?
I guess they didn't enjoy the reflection too much.
And there I thought I would be the recipient of some form of praise.
A smug "Gee thanks" at least was definitely in order, for the sake of sheer effort alone.
I reminisce about that cold slice of that metal blade
and how my warm blood would ooze all over its sharp edge
As erotic as a classic snuff film
Feeling like I had some dirty little secret
That gave me permission to look people in the eye when I spoke to them
I evolved with each laceration and every time I would sing as obnoxiously as a teenager could belt out...
I'm your Venus I'm your fire your desire!