DIRGE FOR REN

you,
your
boy's skin
and the girl it held
despite itself,
and what you were
and were not
and what i was
and what you wanted
and us,
what we could
and couldn't have,
you and me
 
holding hands
that night,
having danced
in the pavillion
when that sweet hush
veiled a trillion stars
but could not stretch
long or wide enough
to hide us --
your bold fingers,
jeweled
and delicate
in mine
as though,
yes,
god mistook you
for a boy
 
but not me
 
i knew  
exactly
what you were