My Old Man's a Jockey
My old man's a jockey, a jockey, a jockey,
A jolly fine jockey is he.
All day he rides horses, rides horses, rides horses,
At night he comes home and rides me!
Years ago when I was a youth living and working in London I occasionally heard this verse sung at a party. Can't remember any more verses, and I have been trying to find out if any more have been recorded. There seems no record of it that Google (or even Google Scholar) can find. I have searched rugby club songs, hen party songs, and other rude collections in vain.
I feel that this verse deserves to head a proper list of similar merry verses and be recorded as a popular song, to be heard at student parties, hen nights and general boozy evenings in the pub.
Let the collective genius of DUP create more verses, so that 'My old man...' can be recorded for posterity in the an(n)als of bawdy songs/poetry. To that end, here are a couple of verses of my own:
My old man's a blacksmith, a blacksmith, a blacksmith,
A very strong blacksmith is he.
All day he bangs iron, bangs iron, bangs iron,
At night he comes home and bangs me!
My old man's a wanker, a wanker, a wanker,
A useless old tosser is he.
All day he just jerks off, and jerks off and jerks off,
But never gives pleasure to me!
Now it's up to the rest of you to add some ribald verses....
Your ancient fossil.