Pandemiclly Incorrect

It's my own fault
 that I got higher than Jack did up the beanstalk
 Hindsight is 20/20 even if you've been blind for years
 it's easier to see far and away than it is to see near and right here
 and I've had a few too many beers so to those I hold dear I say cheers
 I've been consumed by the fear that consumes me and it's clear that I have consumed it
 I've shedded blood tears and sweat and it ain't over yet bet
 How much more can I take when enough is never enough and enough I never seem to get
 Unpaid overdue dues the penalties don't offset
 uninterested in the interest each day I go deeper and steeper in debt to depths that makes me fret
 My match now I've met and I neglect to forget
 how many times I tied to retract my step but me it wouldn't let
 now all washed up and unwet for a spell I set
 taking my time playing Russian roulette holding on for last second shot praying for nothing but net
 with no regret Skinny is the line between your prime and that of a sharp decline
 keep one thing in mind we can look back and we can look forward but we can't do both at the same time
 Headaches and toothaches for Pete's sake backaches and heartaches I can't shake
 heartbreaks so authentically unfake so cold my blood coagulates
 Painfully made mistakes panicking as I attempt to manipulate my fate with my unclean filthy slate
 Oh what a fukkin mess when more becomes a little too much
 and much more becomes a lot like a little less
 I can't digest it I can't digress
 may as well be incest I guess
 I detest how much I invest in the fukkin myself best
 Now a bird's nest a10 lb fish hooked on 100 lb test
 the hand is quicker than the eye but don't let the left know what the right hand is doing
 for everything will be ruined round and round up then down it goes
 when will it stop or where I don't know
 I'm no stranger to the danger I've had the barrel in my mouth with one in the chamber
 I want to leave me too so who could blame her
 So pleasantly painful like the penetration of a piercing arrow to the heart
 like razor blades on a dart like a kill shot in the dark
 artistry of the doomed
 doom is the artist's work of art
 I would never hang and go out like Chester Bennington
 I could never blow out my brain like Kurt Cobain did and use a Remington
 it'll take something much more mean than covid-19 to kill this fiend
 I said it once and I'll say this again someday life will have to kill me but until that day comes I'm killing it
 or maybe one day instead I'll just get high breath a sigh and just die
 because letting life kill me I'm unwilling it
 When I think back to the beginning oh how I thought I was smart
 I thought I would quit the sh*t before I would even start
 but trying to quit the sh*t is like trying to depart from your broken heart
 If you can put two and two together catch your second wind and get ready to get set on your mark
 Then run for your life as hard as you can because there will be no restart
 once you've tried it you're swimming with the sharks that want to taste your bleeding heart
 Every day is like swimming in circles from dark to dark
 with no escape until death from this do you part