deepundergroundpoetry.com
Coyote Ugly
Once the bombs fall and the bullets fly
It’s time to get out of there
There is no diplomacy
There is no law to abide by
There is no process to follow
The instincts to stay alive kick in
While some lost limbs under the train
Others go through desert at night
Trying to avoid the blistering sun
Dying of thirst
looking at plastic gallons of water
spilled on upon the earth
Their vision escaping
Their mission seeming hopeless
As border patrol is approaching…
“Let’s have another round of shots”
A man tells his friends at the club
“It’s payday, it’s Friday
And we can have all the drinks we want”
They howl amidst the loud music…
But the coyotes are unpredictable
Sometimes they rape the women
After all, who would they go to?
Just keep scrolling past this post
There’s a special with 10% off
And Free Shipping!
It’ll be there in 5 business days
Hmm…Jeff made a little more money
He’s now worth 200 billion!
Good for him, living the dream
While others struggle to get a drink
Published 30th Aug 2020
Author's Note
For the On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous comp.
Inspired by Ocean Vuong's piece - Self Portrait as Exit Wounds.
https://poets.org/poem/self-portrait-exit-wounds
Inspired by Ocean Vuong's piece - Self Portrait as Exit Wounds.
https://poets.org/poem/self-portrait-exit-wounds
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 5
reading list entries 1
comments 10
reads 452
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
30th Aug 2020 9:46pm
4th Sep 2020 6:31am
30th Aug 2020 10:18pm
4th Sep 2020 6:32am
30th Aug 2020 11:20pm
4th Sep 2020 6:33am
It's not always fair, but a lot of times it's really brutal.
Thanks for reading.
Thanks for reading.
The inspirational poem rocked my gut like a sucker punch; I almost chose this one, but could barely handle it. I think his poetry affects me deeply because of how close I was to my father, and could experience the emotion in regards to the war. And the last lines of your selected poem drive it home hard—that while many men wanted and enjoyed killing, many more did not, such as my father, and would pray, as this poem records, that nothing would move.
I like how you incorporated some couplets as the inspirational poem contained; it's not an easy form to get right, particularly the enjambments. I know; I braved it and thanked goodness it was over too. Also I do feel you captured the essence of the beast, to Vuong war ( and the memories thereof ) and to us consumerism, ever looming to swallow us whole.
The title is also very clever. Is that bar still in existence?!
Best of luck in the judging, Wally.
I like how you incorporated some couplets as the inspirational poem contained; it's not an easy form to get right, particularly the enjambments. I know; I braved it and thanked goodness it was over too. Also I do feel you captured the essence of the beast, to Vuong war ( and the memories thereof ) and to us consumerism, ever looming to swallow us whole.
The title is also very clever. Is that bar still in existence?!
Best of luck in the judging, Wally.
4th Sep 2020 6:39am
Thank you Ahavati.
I found Ocean to be such a unique individual. Soft spoken and yet vividly raw in his depiction and descriptions. From the various interviews I saw, he's very talented and intelligent. His style is very different and I think I tried to emulate in comparison the plight of immigrants and those who suffer through war.
I know soldiers were ordered to do awful things in very difficult times. An old neighbor of min, a retired marine, would often talk about his time in the service without going into detail, but I could see it in his eyes.
A couple of years ago I went to the bar that's in Las Vegas. It was pretty much a show, the pretty girls, the music, the dancing. In comparison, the coyotes (smugglers) sometimes take advantage of people, leaving them stranded half way or worse in some cases. It's a harsh truth but it's an ugly situation for folks looking for a better life.
I found Ocean to be such a unique individual. Soft spoken and yet vividly raw in his depiction and descriptions. From the various interviews I saw, he's very talented and intelligent. His style is very different and I think I tried to emulate in comparison the plight of immigrants and those who suffer through war.
I know soldiers were ordered to do awful things in very difficult times. An old neighbor of min, a retired marine, would often talk about his time in the service without going into detail, but I could see it in his eyes.
A couple of years ago I went to the bar that's in Las Vegas. It was pretty much a show, the pretty girls, the music, the dancing. In comparison, the coyotes (smugglers) sometimes take advantage of people, leaving them stranded half way or worse in some cases. It's a harsh truth but it's an ugly situation for folks looking for a better life.
2nd Sep 2020 2:13pm
I think you deserve a medal for even attempting this poem. Vuong's style simply kicks my ass and leaves me M*A*S*Hed. Thank you for participating in the comp!
4th Sep 2020 6:42am
Thank you JB.
I'm catching up on all my readings and comments. I do thank you for giving some feedback on the competition thread and I do intend on working on that.
Yes, his style is unique and his presence is just truly wonderful.
I'm catching up on all my readings and comments. I do thank you for giving some feedback on the competition thread and I do intend on working on that.
Yes, his style is unique and his presence is just truly wonderful.
