deepundergroundpoetry.com

Sickened love

 He is, my greatest and only habitual addiction, but I am not his....
​He voyages on the whims of sins shaken from the Devil's hooves.
​My cries mistaken for rain on this fogged and
befriended window yet again. It shares of its cracks and
​breaking that mimic the fragments of my once whole heart.
My beautiful youth shown in this window's reflection
​many years. An older more regretful
​face reflects in reply this evening, as I wait to see ​the dust clouds that trails behind his return when home is remembered.

And there he is once again.

Everything I love, in one body, in one exhale of relief, returning to
​the surviving fool. I, the dependent one that keeps
comfort and necessity near and this mirage of marriage, married. I am the wife that wears the ring, sporting the jester's hat.
Vowed in chains that wraps
​its strength around my blackened finger. He will never let me leave.... and I have not​ the will to abandon him as he does me.

​I have found love within misery and
​abandonment within need.... I hold on to what
days belong to me and nights when my
​hands find not emptiness, but loves fond requests
​from the purse of absence, I give in to hope.
I serve him my pleading words on a mirrored platter, he consumes as he does and
spits out another lie between his saddening sorries of meant words and family photos.
My sickened love is my own enemy and
my physical heart must find death to part from this everything of mine.
My frailty and fight lives to lose
another day. And I ? I will allow it to do so within my own twisted familiarity of love gone sour.
May death part us and my love restored to its proper, no matter the introduction. And still, I have yet to see, ​in fear of its depth, if for me, such a hope is even possible...
Author's Note
I am one of the many victims of loves personalities and the trials and pains we live, repeat and endure. A family victimized by meth and her hold upon my husband... She is the mistress who's seduction and power I cannot compete with ....
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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