Not Today

I've been lying in bed for hours  
trading phrases with patterns on the wall  
I should thank them for the company  
but I haven't got the energy
Phone's flashing, but I'm not returning calls  
 
The rain's been tapping on my glass  
greeting me like an old friend  
They always say "This too shall pass"  
but it never really ends  
My mind is miles out in the deep  
when the water overflows,  
but I just want to sleep  
and hope it all just goes  
 
And I'm listening to you, I swear,  
But honestly, your words turn into vapor  
All I've got here to display  
is a smile that I've drawn on today  
You've got anecdotes while you play savior  
 
I know you only mean well  
when you reach out your hand  
Let me know if you can tell  
which part of me you understand  
I seem to sink even deeper  
when I try to meet the sun  
The fall is steeper  
when I slide back to square one  
 
My mind is out in the woods  
chasing down a white rabbit,  
I'm losing places where I've stood,  
Daylight's burning,  
I'm yearning for a place to rest,  
but I can't have it  
 
Sorry, I'm just feeling tired  
There's not much more to say  
 
What I mean is that I'm tired  
of always wanting to feel something  
But all you feel is uninspired  
in a sea of great vast nothing  
I'll keep searching for a light  
I know that there's another way  
I promise I will be alright  
just not today  
 
Not today