deepundergroundpoetry.com

Not Today

I've been lying in bed for hours  
trading phrases with patterns on the wall  
I should thank them for the company  
but I haven't got the energy
Phone's flashing, but I'm not returning calls  

The rain's been tapping on my glass  
greeting me like an old friend  
They always say "This too shall pass"  
but it never really ends  
My mind is miles out in the deep  
when the water overflows,  
but I just want to sleep  
and hope it all just goes  

And I'm listening to you, I swear,  
But honestly, your words turn into vapor  
All I've got here to display  
is a smile that I've drawn on today  
You've got anecdotes while you play savior  

I know you only mean well  
when you reach out your hand  
Let me know if you can tell  
which part of me you understand  
I seem to sink even deeper  
when I try to meet the sun  
The fall is steeper  
when I slide back to square one  

My mind is out in the woods  
chasing down a white rabbit,  
I'm losing places where I've stood,  
Daylight's burning,  
I'm yearning for a place to rest,  
but I can't have it  

Sorry, I'm just feeling tired  
There's not much more to say  

What I mean is that I'm tired †
of always wanting to feel something  
But all you feel is uninspired  
in a sea of great vast nothing  
I'll keep searching for a light  
I know that there's another way  
I promise I will be alright  
just not today  

Not today
Written by MgAl
Published
Author's Note
About when your depression has you in your "can't get out of bed" days. We know those days won't last forever, but forever is what it feels like in the moment. People around you try their best to distract you from it or make you feel better, but it all just goes in one ear and out the other. You know you'll be okay eventually. Just not today.
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